Think you know everything about sex? Check out these surprising and stimulating facts

The biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches (ouch.)

The smallest erect penis tops off at 1 3/4 inches (ouch).

Eight per cent of us have regular anal sex (ouch?).

Sixty per cent of men and 54 per cent of women have had a one-night stand.

In 1609, a doctor found a corpse with two penises. Since then, there have been 80 documented cases of men similarly endowed.

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (from the release of endorphins). The next time you have a headache try reaching for your boyfriend before the Tylenol.

Fifty-six per cent of men have had sex at work (nasty!).

Twenty-nine per cent of us are virgins when we marry (yeah!).

The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour! (or 234 in 39 minutes).

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation (is that where “giving head” comes from?).

In India it is cheaper to have sex with a prostitute than buy a condom (wouldn’t you need both?).

“Ithyphallophobia” is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis (that’s how you stay a virgin).

A man will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen, containing half a trillion sperm, in his lifetime (no words).

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, and pumpkin pie (that’s what my Grandma’s house smells like!!).

Average number of erections per day for a man: 11.

Average number of erections during the night: Nine (dreaming about Grandma’s house).

There are five calories in a teaspoon of semen (a nice, light snack).

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour (watch out!).

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes (note to self: in next life be a pig!).

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure (not together though, right?).

Humans aren’t the only ones who perform oral sex; cheetahs, hyenas, and goats all go down.

Male honeybees only get to have sex once in their life because it kills them! During ejaculation the penis breaks off inside the female, and the male dies within hours (why would they call it the “birds and the bees” then?).

Between six and nine billion condoms are manufactured each year (can we ship some freebies to India?).

Impotence is grounds for divorce in 26 U.S. states (Amen).