Life Meets Faith: Deflating the stigma of mental illness

Imagine that you wake up in the morning with a severe headache. You've had a poor night's sleep. Your mother calls to say that she is leaving milk and a box of Shreddies on the kitchen table in case you want something to eat with your coffee. Then she drives off to work.

You go downstairs. But you don't have that bowl of cereal because you think that your parents are trying to poison you. You've suspected that for a couple of weeks. This morning, for the first time, you don't pour the coffee your mother left you. After all, if your parents are poisoning your food, what's to prevent them from poisoning your drinks as well? Lucky you thought of that! Why, oh why, did that not occur to you earlier?

Somehow, even though you are hungry and tired, you manage to get dressed and onto the bus. You can't wait to get off at the front of the college because, well, the bus driver seems to be watching you in his rearview mirror.

In class, things are not much better. You know that the English teacher doesn't like you for some reason, though she would never admit it if you confronted her. That's not very important though because English isn't really your thing. Accounting is. Alarmingly though, lately it has become obvious to you that the accounting instructor has it in for you. You earned at least 80 per cent in the last quiz but somehow the instructor twisted things so that your mark was only 68.

On top of all this, your friends don't seem be backing you up. There are only two or three that you trust anymore. But when you told one of them about your parents trying to poison you, she mumbled something and walked away. The last time you tried to tell them about your teachers trying to shaft you, they smiled, sort of, laughed a little and changed the subject to the weekend coming up.

Mental illness can be isolating, leaving the victim alone with her fears or delusions. The person can feel that friends are no longer interested in them. The person I just described is showing symptoms of paranoia. But whether it is paranoia, depression, psychotic episodes, an eating disorder or some other form of mental illness, the victim has to deal with more than their condition. There are also these things to contend with: isolation, feelings of abandonment, loneliness, fear of other people, rejection and ostracism. Not many of us want to be around those who are sliding into a mental health crisis. We want to be around "normal" people.

So what should we do when a friend or relative seems to talking delusionally, or has an eating disorder, or has become afraid for no apparent good reason, or is depressed? It's tempting to stay away, of course. But consider how important it would be to you, if you were experiencing a mental illness, that your family and friends not abandon you.

Perhaps the first thing to do when someone you know is having a mental health difficulty is to not abandon that person, but to remain available and to try to remain, or to become, a friend. The main caution here is to watch your own personal boundaries. You cannot become absorbed into the needs the person presents to you.

Are there other things we can do for friends who become mentally ill? Sometimes the mentally ill do not appreciate that they are indeed ill. That would mean to possibly submit to treatment — perhaps talk therapy or medication. And the side effects of mental health meds are not pleasant. Weight gain and sluggish behaviour are somewhere near the top of the list.

Friends may not want to hear that they are not behaving well, so you risk your friendship by raising the possibility. Here, maybe the best that can be done is to offer a gentle suggestion that perhaps all is not well, and counsellors, such as the ones here at Fanshawe, are available to listen and, if needed, to help.

Most of us, when we become mentally ill — and many of us will experience a mental illness in the course of life — will do all we can to avoid being seen as ill. We don't want the stigma of mental disorder to stick to us. And yet, whether we experience mental illness or just observe it, why should there be a stigma? People do not choose to be mentally ill. Though there are likely always things we can do to lessen symptoms, we do not choose to have them.

Perhaps we need to begin with understanding, with learning about mental illness. That is a choice all of us can make. Reducing the stigma for the sake of our friends who are, or may become, mentally ill will take understanding and knowledge. Reducing the stigma is important, not only for them, but for us who are not yet but may become mentally ill, and for our children, some of whom will also become mentally ill.

Not all of us will be in college courses that educate students on mental illness. But we all have access to the web site of the Canadian Mental Health Association. It's a great site to begin learning quickly about the different kinds of mental illnesses, what treatments are available, which mental illnesses are most likely to hit college populations and how to stay mentally healthy.

Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.