Porn is the driving force behind information technology

KELOWNA, B.C. (CUP) -- Many people don't like porn. Others enjoy it on occasion and still others love it far too much. But whatever your view of porn is, I want you to think about something that you probably never have before: pornography has played a major role in the advancement of information delivery technologies.

Pornography, in one way or another, has been around since ancient times. The Romans loved their orgies, and they loved writing about, sculpting, and painting them. And of course the Greeks were all about sex, especially that certain type that we now affectionately refer to as “Greek Sex.” But porn, as we know it today, did not start to take off until some advances were made in communication technology.

Within weeks of Gutenberg inventing the movable-type printing press, pornographic stories were flying out in the first mass-produced wave of porn. Lonely men and masturbation junkies rejoiced. The popularity of these lewd bits of culture helped spread the printing press across Europe and eventually the world. Why should the Germans be the only ones to have it? The French needed to masturbate too. And don't forget the English; if anyone was in need of some sexual release it was those tight-assed Brits of the 15th century.

Photography also experienced a helping hand from pornographers. Nude photos were captured by this new invention almost as soon as it was made. People loved these photos because it showed them things that they could not see in their daily lives. Don't forget, back then a woman couldn't even show her ankle without being considered loose and immoral. Once again the popularity of the camera spread because of people's need for sexual release. I wonder how popular cameras were in Britain.

The video camera was the next invention to explode into popularity because of pornography. Most of the first movies made were of the “erotic” (read pornographic) type. These were shown in private men's clubs, brothels, and out of the way movie houses. It's no surprise these were especially popular in London.

The abundance of VCRs in the 1980s was directly related to the fact that people could now masturbate to a porn movie in the comfort of their own house. The porn industry struggled to keep up with the demand of producing new and innovative porn movies with interesting plots for the masses of chronic masturbators.

If you don't believe me that porn is important, believe Sony. Sony's higher-quality Betamax format lost out to the VHS format that we are all familiar with. Why? Because the porn industry, along with major motion-picture studios in Hollywood embraced VHS due to its longer recording time.

Betamax soon went the way of the dodo and the importance of porn has been cemented into the consciousness of the communications and electronics industries ever since. Sony has vowed not to make the same mistake again. Their new UMD format (currently available only for the PSP) will be the exclusive format for two Japanese porn video producers when they launch their “portable porn” label next month. Riders of the London Underground beware, that creepy guy with the bad teeth could be watching “Prince Charles' Adventures as a Tampon.”

The video game industry also received a boost from pornographers in the 1980s. One of the first video games for the Atari 2600 was called “Custer's Revenge.”

The concept was simple—the player controls the character of “Custer,” a naked man in a cowboy hat. Custer has to overcome various (not very difficult) obstacles to achieve his goal and win the game by having sex with crudely depicted, large-breasted Native American women who were tied to stakes. I know, I couldn't believe it either, but it is true. I'll wager that this game wasn't even popular in Liverpool.

This brings us to the Internet. A quick google search of “porn site” nets over 20 million hits. I'm sure the total number is much higher. But pornography is the single largest reason that the Internet has achieved the popularity that it enjoys. The first people to use it were really lonely computer geeks, with no girlfriends, who lived in their parents' basements. It was only when people started realising that the benefits these masturbators were experiencing with instant access to porn could be extended to all other areas of knowledge that the Internet caught on with the masses. Despite the growth of the Internet, porn remains its single largest money maker. Porn site subscriptions in Britain have reached record highs.

The popularity of the DVD format can also be traced to pornography. The ability to skip past the Shakespearean dialogue and get right to the nitty gritty of the show was a huge draw for pornographers and masturbators alike. As an added bonus, the DVDs can have special features like photo galleries and cum-shot montages. Most regular movies are regionally coded in DVD format so a North American movie can't be played in Europe, but not porn DVDs. You don't want the Brits to get their knickers all up in a crumpet because they couldn't shag themselves to a Yank DVD.

Porn has been responsible for mainstreaming all new forms of communication. Those new forms of communication have revolutionised the world and society. The link between the two is inarguable. Porn is the engine of communication technology change.