Tired, angry students are fighting back to save year

Tired and angered, students across the province are fighting back against government and unions who are holding their education hostage.

As negotiations between the Ontario Public Service Employee Union (OPSEU) CAAT-Academic members and the College Compensation Appointments Council (CCAC), which represents the Ontario colleges and provincial government clearly stuck in mud, students are becoming disillusioned about how their school year will end.

“Here we are, about to turn the corner on a new month and our student lives could well be in limbo,” said C.B. Uberpreggers, president of the Ontario Students Axis, representing 27 Ontario colleges. “This is the home stretch in our education year, and now we don't know how that home stretch will end. It is discouraging to say the least.”

In an effort to rally students across the province the OSA is releasing a series of posters summarizing their growing frustration. The campaign aims to put a stop to the silly commentaries that will likely ensue if a strike does occur, freezing students out of the classroom.

“We'll hear things like we're doing this for the students, and it's in students best interests,” said Uberpreggers. “The reality is it's in the best interests of those striking. Who do they think they're kidding? Is it in the best of interests of students to lose valuable class time that may not be able to be made up? Do you think the government would refund a percentage of our tuition dollars based on the amount of time we lost and had paid for? Will the union step up and offer that compensation? I doubt it. Anytime something like this happens students get screwed and I question anyone who begs to differ.”

A strike date has been set for Tuesday March 7 and in the event of a faculty strike, colleges will consider cancelling the final exam week in April, and marks may be determined by work done pre-strike. Another option would be to extend the school year into the month of May, but that would cause problems with student housing and leases.

“My marks aren't the greatest at this point, but I've been working extremely hard with an eye towards finals,” said Bobo Henri. “If final exams are cancelled and I end up failing because I didn't have that opportunity to ace my final and raise my grade to a pass, where does that leave me? I've then wasted a year of my life. The monetary loss alone is devastating and I would have to start at square one. That isn't a palatable option.”

Students are also upset that the potential strike may begin one day after returning from March break.

“They could've started their strike action while we were away, but I guess that would be like losing easy money,” said Henri. “I suppose I wouldn't give that paid work week off either, but it shows a lack of consideration if both sides can't come to a resolution.”

“If there is a strike I am praying to Mother Nature, Jack Frost and anyone related to winter that Ontario be hit with the nastiest, vilest winter weather imaginable,” said Uberpreggers. “I'm hoping for blizzards, sleet, rain, freezing rain, and temperatures that make the North Pole look warm. Oh yeah baby, bring on that —40 wind chill. I don't have to leave the warm comforts of my apartment. I'd like to see how the parade of pickets stand up to that kind of nastiness.”

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.