Media diet fads have no staying power, nutritionists say
The latest news that low-fat diets have no positive long-term effects has millions of North Americans questioning their dedication to their fat-free eating plans, and has many looking for the next weight loss fad to market to the masses.
There have always been short-term gems like the grapefruit diet, the martini diet and at some level, the Atkins Diet, but smart entrepreneurs know the market is not yet saturated with options.
Some of the new diets to emerge in the last few months is the Hunger Strike Diet, sponsored by POWs and war criminals in the US. It is not a new concept, but the recent weight-loss success of Guantanamo Bay prisoners and more recently, Saddam Hussein, have thrust the diet back into the celebrity spotlight.
Dr. Louis Sharino, an LA-based physician specializing in weight loss, recently published a book on the Hunger Strike Diet, which is now #4 on the New York Times Bestseller List. There are even rumours circulating that it will be the next book featured on the coveted Oprah's Book Club list.
“I have been studying the weight loss effects of hunger strikes since I was a wide-eyed freshman at Berkeley University in 1965,” Sharino said. “Over the years, the political reasons for a hunger strike have faded, but the effects on America's waistline remains positive.”
The 54 prisoners currently on a hunger strike at Guantanamo Bay lost a combined total of 186 lbs. in just two weeks, according to US Military medical reports. The results were released before the prison guards began force feeding the prisoners, but early indicators suggest that most of the weight loss can be maintained with a regular exercise routine.
Another obscure diet that is making headlines lately is the McDonald's mystery-substance diet, in which people report finding foreign materials, often of human origin, in their french fries, chili, or other high-fat, calorie-dense menu items.
The craze began late last year when a woman in Oregon reported that she found a severed human finger in her bowl of Wendy's chili. The report turned out to be a hoax, but not before the nation developed a fear of the fatty meal. Wendy's reported a 400 per cent drop in chili sales in the weeks following the claim. Sales have yet to regain their normally healthy profit margin.
More recently, in Gastonia, North Carolina, a 37-year old insurance broker found blood in the bottom of her McDonald's french fry container that she had ordered during a drive-thru lunch. After eating nearly all of the supersized fries, she noticed a red substance at the bottom of the box. At first she assumed it was ketchup and continued eating. It wasn't until the fries were gone that she realized that the substance was indeed blood.
After calling the local McDonald's where the french fries were purchased, she called her lawyer and filed a lawsuit against the fast food chain.
“At first I was upset that I had this horrible experience with fast food, and I was mad that I wasn't able to enjoy a greasy burger and fries without thinking there would be some sort of human matter in my lunch,” said the woman, who cannot be identified due to the continuing lawsuit.
“But a few months after the incident, I started to notice that my clothes were fitting alot better, and I had so much more energy. I figured that it had to be because I was avoiding fast food restaurants, and eating only what I brought from home out of fear of being poisoned or eating contaminated food, and I couldn't be happier!” she added.
Many traditional nutritionists speak out against these new diet fads, claiming that public sympathy and political misdeeds can only sustain a dieter's will for so long.
“It's like the big Watergate Salad diet of the Nixon era,” said Sally Wheaton, R.N. “For a while, everyone wants to be on the popular diet bandwagon, but its too hard to stick to such a media-entred diet.
“Before you know it, there's been another scandal or big breaking story, and the collective media eye turns to the next big thing. And where does that leave the Hunger Strike Dieters and the human contaminant avoiders? right back in line at McDonald's ordering their falsely advertised Filet O'fish Slurry sandwiches.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
There have always been short-term gems like the grapefruit diet, the martini diet and at some level, the Atkins Diet, but smart entrepreneurs know the market is not yet saturated with options.
Some of the new diets to emerge in the last few months is the Hunger Strike Diet, sponsored by POWs and war criminals in the US. It is not a new concept, but the recent weight-loss success of Guantanamo Bay prisoners and more recently, Saddam Hussein, have thrust the diet back into the celebrity spotlight.
Dr. Louis Sharino, an LA-based physician specializing in weight loss, recently published a book on the Hunger Strike Diet, which is now #4 on the New York Times Bestseller List. There are even rumours circulating that it will be the next book featured on the coveted Oprah's Book Club list.
“I have been studying the weight loss effects of hunger strikes since I was a wide-eyed freshman at Berkeley University in 1965,” Sharino said. “Over the years, the political reasons for a hunger strike have faded, but the effects on America's waistline remains positive.”
The 54 prisoners currently on a hunger strike at Guantanamo Bay lost a combined total of 186 lbs. in just two weeks, according to US Military medical reports. The results were released before the prison guards began force feeding the prisoners, but early indicators suggest that most of the weight loss can be maintained with a regular exercise routine.
Another obscure diet that is making headlines lately is the McDonald's mystery-substance diet, in which people report finding foreign materials, often of human origin, in their french fries, chili, or other high-fat, calorie-dense menu items.
The craze began late last year when a woman in Oregon reported that she found a severed human finger in her bowl of Wendy's chili. The report turned out to be a hoax, but not before the nation developed a fear of the fatty meal. Wendy's reported a 400 per cent drop in chili sales in the weeks following the claim. Sales have yet to regain their normally healthy profit margin.
More recently, in Gastonia, North Carolina, a 37-year old insurance broker found blood in the bottom of her McDonald's french fry container that she had ordered during a drive-thru lunch. After eating nearly all of the supersized fries, she noticed a red substance at the bottom of the box. At first she assumed it was ketchup and continued eating. It wasn't until the fries were gone that she realized that the substance was indeed blood.
After calling the local McDonald's where the french fries were purchased, she called her lawyer and filed a lawsuit against the fast food chain.
“At first I was upset that I had this horrible experience with fast food, and I was mad that I wasn't able to enjoy a greasy burger and fries without thinking there would be some sort of human matter in my lunch,” said the woman, who cannot be identified due to the continuing lawsuit.
“But a few months after the incident, I started to notice that my clothes were fitting alot better, and I had so much more energy. I figured that it had to be because I was avoiding fast food restaurants, and eating only what I brought from home out of fear of being poisoned or eating contaminated food, and I couldn't be happier!” she added.
Many traditional nutritionists speak out against these new diet fads, claiming that public sympathy and political misdeeds can only sustain a dieter's will for so long.
“It's like the big Watergate Salad diet of the Nixon era,” said Sally Wheaton, R.N. “For a while, everyone wants to be on the popular diet bandwagon, but its too hard to stick to such a media-entred diet.
“Before you know it, there's been another scandal or big breaking story, and the collective media eye turns to the next big thing. And where does that leave the Hunger Strike Dieters and the human contaminant avoiders? right back in line at McDonald's ordering their falsely advertised Filet O'fish Slurry sandwiches.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
