Cinema Connoisseur: Ensure that summer's no bummer

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School is not out for the summer. Mark Harmon stars in Summer School as an irresponsible gym teacher forced to teach English.

It's coming to the end of another school year, so you know what that means — time to find a job. Just kidding, it's time to watch lots of movies! Every week from May until September, another $100 million dollar film is going to be released. There is going to be a lot of advertising out there trying to convince you to see the new Seth Rogen film, the Tranformers sequel or the latest offering from Pixar. Do yourself a favour — just say no.

Instead, I'm going to present you with a list of the three greatest summer time cinematic treats of all time. All of these films are available on DVD (hell, I think they are also available on Beta), so no need to head out to a crowded movie theatre if you are a hermit like myself.

Ernest Goes To Camp (1987)
What says summer like sending away your children for months at a time to be looked after by complete strangers, most of whom are teenagers? Yes, camp is a staple of summer movies, and Ernest Goes To Camp is the finest of the genre. The late, great Jim Varney plays Ernest P. Worrell, a maintenance man at Kamp Kickakee. Ernest has always dreamed of becoming a camp counsellor. This dream is realized, however, this is only because no one else at the camp wants to deal with the particular group of juvenile delinquents Ernest has been assigned.

At first the young hooligans make Ernest's life a living hell, but before long, everyone's favourite slack-jawed yokel wins them over. Just as things are going well, an evil mining company tries to take away the camp's land. So Ernest and the juvies fend them off by dropping turtles on them, and shooting them with flaming bow and arrows. That's how you stick it to the man.

Harry and The Hendersons (1987)
Nothing says summer like family trips (aside from summer camp of course). The Henderson family is enjoying a nice, peaceful outing when their car hits something. That something turns out to be a Sasquatch, or Big Foot. The Hendersons assume the creature is dead, and strap it to the hood of the car. It turns out that the Sasquatch is very much alive, and he ends up destroying their home, and turning their lives upside down. There is a lesson to be learned here kids — if you hit something with your car, drive away as fast as you can.

Eventually the Hendersons come to think of the creature (who they dub Harry) as a member of the family. But the Sting song “If You Love Someone Set Them Free” could very well be describing this film, as the Hendersons must consider sending Harry back into the wild for his own good.

Summer School (1987)
“School's out for the summer” — not so fast, legendary shock rocker Alice Cooper. Unfortunately for some individuals, summer is not a time for making crafts at camp, or mowing down hairy mythical creatures with your station wagon. Maybe they didn't apply themselves during the regular school year, or maybe they just aren't too bright.

Whatever the reason is, some students find themselves going into overtime, aka summer school. Mark Harmon (NCIS) shines as irresponsible gym teacher Freddy Shoop, who is forced to teach English to a wacky group of underachievers. Worse yet, if they don't pass their final exams, Shoop will be fired. That's not going to be easy with a class full of students who are among other things, a stripper, pregnant, dyslexic, and obsessed with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There have been many films made over the years about teachers who struggle to reach out to a group of difficult students. Summer School is undoubtedly one of those films.