Current Issue: Friday, November 15th, 2019

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Interrobang articles by Allen Gaynor


Cinema Connoisseur: Sharknado 2 is fin-tastic
Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014) Unless you have been in solitary confinement over the past year (which studies show only 28 per cent of the readers of this column have been), you have heard of the Sharknado phenomenon. In July of 2... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Sharknado 2 is fin-tastic
Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014) Unless you have been in solitary confinement over the past year (which studies show only 28 per cent of the readers of this column have been), you have heard of the Sharknado phenomenon. In July of 2013, Sha... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Ensure that summer's no bummer
It's coming to the end of another school year, so you know what that means — time to find a job. Just kidding, it's time to watch lots of movies! Every week from May until September, another $100 million dollar film is going to be... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Globetrotters film is a slam dunk
The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island (1981) Basketball fever is sweeping over North America. The ongoing NCAA basketball tournament has everyone talking. It is after all the time of year when everyone all of a sudden becomes a... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Doo not miss this Scooby/WWE mashup
Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery (2014) Vince McMahon and the employees of his World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) enterprise have faced a great many challenges over the years. There have been steroid trials, a high death toll amongst perfor... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: No Room for improvement
The Room (2003) Martin Scorsese. Steven Spielberg. Dan Aykroyd. Hulk Hogan. Jenna Jameson. All people who have contributed greatly to the motion picture industry, and have attempted, with varying degrees of success, to make the perfect film.... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The Force is strong in these ones
Jedi Junkies (2010) A long time ago, in a city 3,000 kilometres away, a truly lifechanging film was greenlit. Now, I know the term “lifechanging” gets thrown around a lot. Some people refer to the release of iOS 7.0.6 as life-changi... Read more

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A call to Arms makes groundbreaking TV
AMC is the television station that has brought us such hits as Mad Men, Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead, some of the most acclaimed and popular series of all time. These programs have given us many thrills, chills and blood spills. There is ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Garbage film is anything but rubbish
The Garbage Pail Kids (1987) It is rare that some text in the opening credits alone can sell me on a movie. That was the case, however, with the film I had the privilege to watch this week. For when I saw the words “a Topps Chewing Gum... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A GLOWing review
GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (2012) The Olympics are in full swing, and I couldn't be more excited. Not because I am a fan of events such as Short Track Speed Skating or the Nordic Combined. Let's face it; nobod... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: One clucking good movie
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006) Not only am I a cinema connoisseur; I also consider myself to be a chicken connoisseur. I enjoy poultry in many different forms — nuggets, fingers, breasts and balls. Thanks to the fine f... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Little film provides big laughs
Midgets vs. Mascots (2009) The Super Bowl just took place. The Olympics are about to begin. But the biggest news in the sports world is coming from Chicago, where Major League Baseball's Cubs recently unveiled their first mascot in the f... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Pony doc will have you whinnying
Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony (2012) Gender roles have changed greatly over the past several decades. Men are now free to choose any profession they want, rather than being limited to the choice of becoming... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Excellence meets flatulence
Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011) Each year, hundreds of films are produced that feature things being inserted into asses. However, for whatever reason, very few films about things coming out of asses see the light of day. Enter writer/d... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: 2013 and 2014 in a nutshell
Happy New Year, #Fanshawe! My New Year's resolution was to use more hashtags in #everyday sentences, and I #plan to stick to it. This week I'll be taking a look at the top movie-related stories of 2013, and also taking a look ahead to ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Cross-country Claus chaos
I'll Be Home For Christmas (1998) The holiday season is upon us, and many students will be making it home to join their family to celebrate, well, whatever it is that their particular family celebrates. Christmas. Hanukkah. Kwanzaa. Win... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Santa vs. Satan showdown Yuletide classic
Santa Claus (1959) “He's making a list And checking it twice; Gonna find out who's naughty and nice Santa Claus is coming to town” “He lives in outer space He's abducted children of every race... Wait, what???!&rdqu... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Jingle rocks
Jingle All The Way (1996) Christmas is the most wonderful —but unfortunately also the most commercial — time of the year. With all the running around, racking up debt, and obsessing over finding the perfect gift, it is easy to fo... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Heads and shoulders above the rest
The Thing With Two Heads (1972) A wise man once said “two heads are better than one.” That man was Andre The Giant. Philosophers have argued over the exact meaning of this statement for decades. Some believe that it means that mo... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: You won't regret going Commando
Suburban Commando (1991) October, the scariest month of the year has come and gone, so now it is time for the hairiest month of the year. Movember, formerly known as November, is a wonderful time of year when men let their appearance go to h... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Campy thriller will have you cheering
Cheerleader Camp (1988) Ripped from today's headlines, the Cinema Connoisseur's Halloween Spooktacular Fright Film Festival concludes with a film featuring plenty of spirit — not the ghost kind of spirit that we think of this t... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Superbeasto is super good
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009) The Cinema Connoisseur's Halloween Spooktacular Fright Film Festival is in full swing, and this week, I'll be taking a look at a film that features three trademarks of Halloween: demons, men... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A loving tribute to beloved film Troll 2
Best Worst Movie (2009) We are right in the thick of Halloween season — kids are deciding what costume to wear, radio stations are playing “Ghostbusters” more than they usually do, and stores are beginning to put out their ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Monster Brawl a must see for all
Monster Brawl (2011) October is finally here, and I am so excited! Contrary to popular belief, I have always felt that October is the most spook-tacular month of the year. Most people feel that June holds this title, while some feel it is Fe... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A-peel-ing Apple film is good to the core
iSteve (2012) This week will mark the two-year anniversary of the passing of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs. When news of his passing first broke, the Internet went bananas. Take a look at some of these Tweets: @Schwarzenegger (Arnold Schwarz... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A toxic environment
The Toxic Avenger (1984) It is Environmental Awareness Week on campus, the time when we turn the spotlight on Mother Nature. Sadly, an alarming percentage of the population would rather simply drop their coffee cups and candy bar wrappers o... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Boobs, beer and Bigfoot
Bigfoot's Wild Weekend (2012) It's that time of the year when Interrobang releases its annual sex issue (or is that anal sex issue)? The time for the Cinema Connoisseur to share his knowledge of not only celluloid, but sex, or &ldqu... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Watching Gigli would be Ben-eficial
Gigli (2003) In one of the most controversial casting decisions in recent memory, it was announced that the role of Batman in the sequel to Man of Steel will be played by Benjamin Affleck. The news caused a huge uproar — more than 70,0... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Blown away by Sharknado
Sharknado (2013) Mother Nature is pissed. The proof is in the pudding. Just take a look at some of the disasters that have taken place over the last few months: - In June, Alberta suffered a severe flood - In July, Toronto residents also h... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Roller Derby film never goes off track
Blood on the Flat Track: Rise of the Rat City Rollergirls (2007) This has to be the greatest time of the year for sports fans. The Major League Baseball season kicks off in early April. The NHL playoffs usually begin around this time. There... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Reduce your carbon (Big)footprint
Bigfoot (2012) Not only do I love films, but I am also quite fond of the Earth. A few years back, Al Gore released a film that first alerted people that our environment might be in for some tough times in the future. I can't recall what ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A horde of Lord films
Easter is once again upon us, and as usual, Jesus seems to be taking a back seat to the bunny. Oh sure, I'm part of the problem — I will purchase chocolate for my children. And like any responsible parent, I will eat that chocolate wh... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Ice skating film will have you on the edge of your seat
The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream (2008) The week of March 11 saw London play host to the World Figure Skating Championships, and all I can say about that event is, “wow!” So many unforgettable moments — like the gold ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Domo arigato, killer robotos
Robotropolis (2011) Over the past decade, we have witnessed some incredible technological breakthroughs. Smartphones. iPads. HDTV. Yet the vast majority of the population does not have their own robot butler. Is it just me, or does that seem... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Wham, bam, thank you, Body Slam
Body Slam (1987) It's the end of the world as we know it, and I most certainly do not feel fine. Every four years, the world gathers to witness the majesty of the summer Olympic Games. But the world's biggest stage will never be the... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Razzie Picks 2013
It's finally here! The biggest day of the year for cinephiles is coming up this Saturday, as the 33rd annual Golden Raspberry Awards (a.k.a. The Razzies) will honour the top films of 2012. There are so many worthy contenders this year that it is quit... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The greatest love
I Think We're Alone Now (2008) "I think we're alone now, There doesn't seem to be anyone around" Not so fast, 1980s popstar Tiffany. For you are never alone, as long as you have your legions of fans following you — literally following ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Taking the filth out of film
Cleanflix (2009) Career Week is upon us, which means many of you will be thinking about where you might find yourself next year. Will you become another cog in the wheel, working for a major corporation like 3M, BlackBerry or Arby's? Or wil... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Van Damme and Lundgren soldier on
Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012) When one thinks of great pairings in cinematic history, certain names come to mind. Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. However, for my mon... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Enthusiastic about fantastic plastic classic
Barbie: The Princess and the Popstar (2012) It is that time of the year when film critics put together their lists of the top films released the previous year. This all leads to the culmination in February when the Academy Awards are handed o... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A Christmas miracle
Millions groaned simultaneously when it was announced earlier this year that there would be a direct-to-video sequel to the 1983 film A Christmas Story. And I can't say that I blame said groaners. As I explained in an article published in Inte... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The importance of seeing Ernest
Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) American Thanksgiving has come and gone, which means the Christmas shopping season has officially begun, kicked off by Black Friday. I have noticed a disturbing trend in recent years, with more people opting to ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Troll 2 lacks nothing – except a troll
Troll 2 (1990) Whether you are filming a $200 million epic, or simply Kim Kardashian getting it on, producing a motion picture is no small task. Sometimes you have to deal with temperamental actors (like a certain Caped Crusader). The projec... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Over $4 billion for Willow? Worth every penny
Willow (1988) Shockwaves were felt recently when it was announced that George Lucas sold his Lucasfilm empire to Disney for $4.05 billion. There were many upset Star Wars fans who took to social media to express their displeasure with the d... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Stachies celebrate the best in Mo-vies
"Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?" - Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense Is there anything more majestic than moustache poetry? Perhaps only moustache movies. Facial ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Vampire Dog's bark, bite equally good
Vampire Dog (2012) Halloween is upon us. As an avid cinema fan, this is one of my favourite times of year. There are so many spooktacular films to watch, about chainsaw-wielding maniacs, brain-munching zombies and, of course, 600-year old va... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: D.C. Cab deserves an A+
D.C. Cab (1983) Whenever a limousine or horse drawn carriage isn't available, I am forced to be transported by taxi. It is always an awkward situation. If I am travelling alone, I feel obligated to sit beside this complete stranger and engag... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Nazi spacemen have the Reich stuff
Iron Sky (2012) There are some films that are easy pitches. Like The Avengers, for example. "We'll put a bunch of superheroes together, and blow lots of stuff up!" That idea must have been greenlit within seconds. But then there are other fi... Read more

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Punk DVD will have you on the (straight) edge of your seat
Current WWE champion CM Punk is referred to by many in the wrestling circle (including himself) as the best in the world. So it is appropriate that he is the subject of a new home video release from the WWE that just might be the best of its k... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Lohan film loaded with laughs
There are certain things you can count on every day. The sun will rise. The sun will set. And Lindsay Lohan will be involved in some sort of driving mishap. Just by coincidence, a few minutes before I set out to type up this review, news broke... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Baywatch reunion flick a sexy affair
Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding (2003) Sexual Awareness Days are once again upon us here at Fanshawe. That means that there is going to be a lot of sexual content in this publication — I've heard rumours that the word 'urethra' is actuall... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Lincoln no slave to zombies
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012) With the exception of George W. Bush, no U.S. President is more revered than the nation's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. Just look at his track record. He kept the country together during the Civil War, an... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: You'll never tire of watching this film
Throughout the history of motion pictures, audiences have been presented some truly heartless, cruel and dastardly villains. Darth Vader. Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker. That shirtless werewolf guy from the Twilight films. They all pale... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Gender-bender full of splendour
Just One Of The Guys (1985) We live in very uncertain times. The economy is in the toilet. Mother Nature is hurting. Hell, some believe the world could soon be coming to an end. Thankfully, there is one thing we can count on. Nearly every ye... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A new pair of (re)boots
Hot diggity dog! I've always wanted to start an article that way, but I've just never been jubilant enough to do so. However, in recent weeks, I've learned of an exciting development — nay, two exciting developments — th... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Stone Cold battles Machete in dream matchup
Recoil (2011) Has there ever been two actors who you really wanted to see make a film together, like Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, or Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson? I bet when they finally did work together, it... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: This bounty hunter is no Dog
Bounty Hunters (2011) Former WWE diva Trish Stratus makes her feature film debut in Bounty Hunters, a film that gives the Toronto beauty another opportunity to kick some booty. Following in the glorious lineage of bounty hunters such as Dog ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Warring pet film is paw-sitively delightful
Cats & Dogs (2001) I am not what you would call an animal lover. Oh sure, I do think that Animal of The Muppets is the greatest drummer of all time. I am a big fan of pro wrestling legend George "The Animal" Steele. And of course I am moved ... Read more

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The Rock DVD is one for the ages
With all due respect to the likes of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Helen "The Crusher" Mirren, no professional wrestler has gained greater mainstream attention than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. With a perfect combinatio... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Moneyball hits into unassisted triple play
Moneyball (2011) We are just a few short weeks away from Hollywood's biggest night of the year, the Oscar ceremony. As a serious film reviewer who is so close to becoming a voting member of the Academy (if Steven Spielberg and Carrot Top di... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Cena and Kane shine on screen and in the ring
London is set to host an athletic event of monumental proportions that will have all eyes on the Forest City. No, I'm not referring to the 2013 World Figure Skating Championships, during which London Mayor Joe Fontana is looking to spend $600,... Read more

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Shark Night head and fin above the competition
Cinema Connoisseur: Shark Night (2011) I love fish. Whether I'm eating them in stick form (thank you, Captain High Liner) or watching them in films like The Little Mermaid or Deep Blue Sea, fish and other such sea creatures have always given... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Sperm + Hitler = big laughs in Chillerama
Chillerama (2011) Did you ever feel a song, a book or a movie was written just for you? Well, that's the way I feel after viewing the comedy film Chillerama, recently released on home video. Chillerama is a loving tribute to B-movies of t... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Sperm + Hitler = big laughs in Chillerama
Did you ever feel a song, a book or a movie was written just for you? Well, that's the way I feel after viewing the comedy film Chillerama, newly released on home video. Chillerama is a loving tribute to B-movies of the past that gives you four ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A Christmas bore-y
A Christmas Story (1983) Merry Christmas, everyone. It's the most wonderful time of the year, when people of all different backgrounds and beliefs come together to celebrate the birth of Passion of the Christ star Jesus of Nazareth. And nobo... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Fine festive Finnish film
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Kind-hearted. Fat. Jolly. These are words that pop into most people's minds when they think of world-famous Christmas celebrity Santa Claus. You know what words don't usually pop into people's minds when... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Death Race is ace
Death Race 2000 (1975) The Frugal issue (a.k.a. the Cheap Bastard issue) of the Interrobang is one very near and dear to my heart. As someone who can tell you his average monthly expenditures on stamps ($2.28) and hot water ($12.31), there m... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: God-awful
The Godfather (1972) A few weeks back I had the pleasure of reviewing a film titled Captain Eo, which featured Michael Jackson as an intergalactic traveler who conquered evil with elaborate dance numbers. The film was directed by a chap name... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Bride of Chucky is anything but sucky
Bride of Chucky (1998) It is time once again for Halloween, which is sadly the only time of year when 'spooktacular' becomes a common word in everyone's vocabulary. Why can't things be spooktacular in mid- March? I digress. Halloween is a... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Best religious film bar nun
Nude Nuns With Big Guns (2010) Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a few decades since my last confession. I have coveted my neighbour's possessions. I made an illegal copy of a Chumbawamba CD. I beat a hobo half to death wit... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: You'll love the way Captain EO makes you feel
Captain EO (1986) When the name Michael Jackson is brought up, many things come to mind. His record-breaking album sales. His trademark moonwalk. His alleged obsession with plastic surgery. But, of course, in the later years of his life, a... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The Beaver is a dam fine film
The Beaver (2011) What a difference a few years make. Believe it or not, there was a time when Mel Gibson was one of Hollywood's most beloved actors. His co-stars loved him for his charming nature and the practical jokes he played on set. ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Crank 2 ranks number one
Crank 2: High Voltage (2009) Ridiculous. Illogical. Over the top. Profane. These are all terms that can be used to describe the film Crank 2: High Voltage, a movie I recently had the opportunity to take a gander at. One more term that can ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hobo With a Shotgun is number one with a bullet
Hobo With a Shotgun (2011) Warning: If scenes of topless women beating a homeless man to death with sticks as if he were a piñata disturb you, then you will probably have no interest in the film I will be reviewing this week. There, now th... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Fox learning to fly, and she does have wings
Passion Play (2010) When one thinks of the term "freak," certain images generally come to mind. Bearded ladies. Giants. People with extraneous limbs. Who doesn't come to mind? Megan Fox. Yet sure enough, in the new to home video film Passion Play,... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Born to Raise Hell is Heaven-sent
Born to Raise Hell (2010) There are certain things you can expect from a Steven Seagal film. These films typically feature titles of four or less short words. They tend to have at least one scene of gratuitous nudity (my favourite type of nudity),... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Dragon film never drags on
Wyvern (2009) The term "made for television movie" has some negative connotations. Whenever I used to hear the term, I would envision melodramatic messes about adoption, marital strife and dying football players. However, that all chang... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Reward yourself by watching ALF
Project: ALF (1996) Over the next few months, cinemas around the world will be invaded by aliens. From Battle: Los Angeles to Paul, to Super 8 to Cowboys & Aliens, we are going see an abundance of extra-terrestrials in films this spring an... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Don't go messin' with these country boys and girls
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia (2009) Hello, my name is Allen, and I have an unhealthy obsession with hillbillies. Phew, it feels good to finally get that off my chest. Yes, from The Beverly Hillbillies, to the banjo play... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Fish film shows the importance of learning to master bait
Piranha 3D (2010) Spring break. For some it is a time to hit the books, and get a head start on studying for exams. Maybe also a time to pick up some extra shifts at a part-time job, to help pay off those crippling student debts. For ot... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Olsen twins horse around in How the West Was Fun
How the West Was Fun (1994) When one thinks of the Western genre of film, images of silver screen legends John Wayne and Clint Eastwood likely pop up in his or her head. Wayne and Eastwood starred in some of the most revered Western films ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Shark flick good for a lark
Deep Blue Sea (1999) It has been called the feel-good story of the year by some: Ted Williams, a homeless man with an incredible voice recently went from rags to riches. A video of Williams cutting radio promos went viral, and soon he foun... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Showgirls is simply sinsational
Showgirls (1995) The term "the greatest" gets thrown around quite a bit. I myself have been guilty of declaring at least 13 different movies in the past year alone to be the greatest movie of all time. Well, it turns out I was wrong. If y... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Santa's Slay spreads yuletide fear
Cinema Connoisseur: Santa's Slay spreads yuletide fear... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Knucklehead features fisticuffs and flatulence galore
Knucklehead (2010) Mixed martial arts is perhaps the fastest growing sport in the world, so it was only a matter of time before Hollywood hopped on the bandwagon. After a few mediocre attempts to cash in on the phenomenon, the sport of MMA... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Turkey engages in fowl play
This Thursday, our neighbours south of the border will be celebrating Thanksgiving. So I thought it would be appropriate to take a look this week at one of the most original movies I have seen in years — ThanksKilling, which sees a blood... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: First Potter film anything but magical
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) Make no mistake about it, Harry Potter is a goldmine. The book series has sold 400 million copies, while the six Harry Potter films that have been released have made nearly $5.5 billion! And t... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Movember movie madness
Movember is upon us. No, that is not a typo. Movember is a campaign where men grow facial hair and raise awareness of prostate cancer. The Fanshawe Student Union is running a Movember campaign, so if you see a lot of 'staches over the next... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Chuck Norris' career goes to the dogs
Top Dog (1995) What do you get when you team up man's best friend with the ultimate man? You get one of the most hilarious, action-packed films this reviewer has ever seen. Chuck Norris' film career goes to the dogs and comes up richer for i... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Eastwood engages in some monkey business
Every Which Way But Loose (1978) When it comes to movie stars, they don't get much bigger than Clint Eastwood. For over 50 years, the man has been raking in big dollars and basking in critical acclaim. He may be best known for his iconic r... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Nothing short of Legendary
It's that time of year when we reflect on all of the things we are most thankful for. In addition to giving thanks for a wonderful family and great friends, I am also grateful that I am able to review one classic film after another, the latest... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Berry makes one damn fine feline
Catwoman (2004) Fanshawe has cat scratch fever! The Fanshawe Student Union's new social network (www.fsu.ca) allows students to connect and communicate on a wide variety of topics. And what is one of the most popular topics? Kitties. People ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Cougar banging flick disappoints
The Graduate is considered to be an all-time classic. It has been called "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" by the U.S. National Film Registry. The American Film Institute listed it is the seventh greatest film of alltime.... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Crawford rushin' to get way from Russians
Fair Game (1995) Did you know that supermodel Cindy Crawford attended university on a chemical engineering scholarship? Or that she was discovered by a photographer while working a summer job detasseling corn? Or that she played Jon Bon J... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Soccer film gets plenty of respect
Summer will soon be officially over for another year, which means the end of typical summertime activities like barbeques, going to the beach, and participating in sports like baseball and soccer. As far as soccer goes, I say good riddance. ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Made Mel shows sensitive side
Mel Gibson is one lucky man! Oh sure, he's going through some bad publicity…again. His management company dropped him, and he may never get to star in another major motion picture. So why is he lucky, you may ask? The answer is quite s... Read more

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Excellent cast puts Lymelife into the limelight
Actors shine in this portrait of two families on the brink In a summer movie season filled with giant robots, vengeful mutants and stampeding dinosaurs, a tiny film with a very talented cast has come along to save the day for film lovers looking f... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A probing look at the porn business
Sex Sells (2005) Porn is big business. How big? Try 100 billion dollars a year — at least that's what the Internet told me, and it has never lied before. While that number may seem staggering, what's even more unbelievable is t... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Shark and octopus film makes big waves
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) Under the sea, under the sea, darling it's not always better, down where it's wetter, take it from Debbie...Debbie Gibson that is. Now you might quite rightfully be asking yourself, “What th... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Stone Cold's latest film is stunningly good
Damage (2009) One of the biggest stars in the history of the wrestling business, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin is back stomping mudholes in asses and walking them dry. These days however, he's doing it on the silver screen, not in the ... Read more

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Austin's film career is anything but Stone Cold
After a hugely successful career that saw him become perhaps the biggest box office draw in the history of professional wrestling, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin has now embarked on a different path — that of a movie star. His latest fil... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Put your Hands together for a classic horror flick
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) When the writer, producer, director and star of a film is a fertilizer salesman, you can normally expect the flick to reek of manure. Luckily this week's film, Manos: The Hands of Fate, manages to break the seemi... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Cruisin' for a boozin'
Cocktail (1988) Long before he was jumping on sofas, pledging allegiance to Xenu and trying to kill Hitler, Tom Cruise starred in some of the most enjoyable films that have ever been committed to celluloid. Films like Top Gun, Days of Thunder, and... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hollywood's biggest night celebrates Bullock, war film
The Hollywood community was in full force for one of the biggest nights in entertainment. And while there was a slew of worthy award recipients, there were none more so than Sandra Bullock, and one of the most visceral war films to ever hit the silver screen. Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Sorority Row pledges to entertain
Sorority Row (2009) The newly released on home video thriller Sorority Row features many very lovely bodies to look at. However, it is the cold, blood stained one that proves to be the most interesting. The sisters of the Theta Pi sorority are l... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Canadian comedy shocks, inspires
You Might as Well Live (2009) Historically, Canadians have not excelled in filmmaking to the extent that we have in other disciplines, such as hockey, curling and maple syrup production. Sure, there have been the works of Atom Egoyan, and who coul... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Terror runs amok until struck by Chuck
The President's Man (2000) From his early day as a karate tournament competitor, to his rise to stardom as a major motion picture leading man, to his current day status as a World Wide Web phenomenon, Chuck Norris has been an integral part of ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The top 100 films of the past decade (#20 to 1)
Our regular Cinema Connoisseur Allen Gaynor is still off. His twin brother Sal Gaynor continues sharing his list of the top films of the past decade, this week counting down from 20 to 1. 20. Almost Famous (2000) — A high school student lands ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The top 100 films of the past decade (#40 to 21)
Our regular Cinema Connoisseur Allen Gaynor is still being questioned by the authorities, so his twin brother Sal Gaynor continues sharing his list of the top films of the past decade, this week counting down from 40 to 21. 40. Pirates of the Caribb... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The top 100 films of the past decade (#60 to 41)
Our regular Cinema Connoisseur Allen Gaynor is still attempting to become a studio audience member for the “Tyra Banks Show,” so his twin brother Sal Gaynor continues sharing his list of the top films of the past decade, this week countin... Read more

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Christmas Movies
Christmas is a time for giving, but more importantly, it is a time for receiving gifts. With that being said, I truly believe the greatest gift of all is the gift of entertainment. So I have compiled this last of the 10 greatest Christmas films of ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Ho, Ho, Hogan!
We're less than a month away from the big day, Christmas, and I couldn't be more excited. I love this time of year. Not because I receive presents. Well, that's not entirely true. Year after year, Hollywood has bestowed great cinem... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Horror film delivers the baked goods
The Gingerdead Man (2005) Mix two teaspoons of ground cinnamon, a half of a teaspoon of baking soda, two teaspoons of ground ginger, and one Gary Busey portraying a blood thirsty killer, and what do you have? This week's selection, The Gingerd... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Bald head and shoulders above competition
Bald (2008) We live in a world where physical appearances are valued very highly. So it makes sense then that one's appearance is tied in quite closely with one's self esteem. People will often go to great lengths to enhance their outer be... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: All that glitters is gold
Glitter (2001) Mariah Carey is one of the top-selling artists of all-time, with over 175 million albums sold. This puts her in an elite category with acts such as Elvis Presley, The Beatles and Michael Jackson. This can certainly be attributed to ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Simpson packing major guns
Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous (2008) What do you get when you give a blonde bombshell some live ammunition? You get one of the most heartwarming, original and inspiring comedies this reviewer has ever seen. This week I'll be taking a... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: One Hex of a good movie
Sex Hex (2007) It's that time of year again, when we are visited by ghouls, goblins, witches, slutty nurses, and of course vampires. The latter is the subject of the truly terrifying film I will be reviewing this week, Sex Hex. Sex Hex opens ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Raising children no monkey business
My Monkey Baby (2009) “You took off your panties, now get in your cage!” Those are indeed powerful words from a mother to her daughter. No, this is not an excerpt from a conversation between Britney Spears and her mother Lynne. This ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: LiLo and Tyra star in larger than life film
Life-Size (2000) Over the long and storied history of filmmaking there have been some truly electric screen duos. Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Lindsay Lohan and Tyra Banks. Y... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Space Buddies is a blast
Space Buddies (2009) This week's selection combines space travel and dogs, two of my pet (pun intended) peeves. So when the folks at Disney decided to produce a film combining the two, I was baffled. However, after seeing it, I can put all pre... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hannah Montana makes Miley top banana
Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009) She's conquered the worlds of television, music, fashion and lunch boxes, so it was only a matter of time before Hannah Montana was immortalized in the medium of film. Hannah Montana: The Movie hit theatres in ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Cena stars in well-rounded action flick
12 Rounds (2009) Some critics have insinuated that the recently released on home video film 12 Rounds is the biggest disaster to ever take place in New Orleans. However, the Cinema Connoisseur is here to tell you that the John Cena action vehicle ... Read more

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Sequels, prequels, and remakes, oh my!
The first four months of 2009 have not been a banner time for Hollywood. The fact that the likes of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail and Hotel For Dogs are among the top 10 box office performers thus far is a testament to th... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Ensure that summer's no bummer
It's coming to the end of another school year, so you know what that means — time to find a job. Just kidding, it's time to watch lots of movies! Every week from May until September, another $100 million dollar film is going to be relea... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The Wrestler piledriven by mediocrity
One of last year's most critically acclaimed films is soon to be released on DVD. Beginning April 21st, you can purchase your copy of The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke. The question is though, should you purchase it? When I first heard that t... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Grab a brew and watch...kung-fu?
Top o' the morning to you! St. Patrick's Day is fast approaching, and you've got a decision to make. Do you want to stand in a ridiculously long lineup just for the small chance you might get into a bar, or do you want to enjoy yourself i... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Silence is golden
Dead Silence (2007) What do you get when you team Donnie Wahlberg up with a group of creepy dummies? If you said a hit album and a sold out concert tour, you are correct. However, if you said the greatest and scariest horror film of all-time, you ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Rewarding those forgotten by Oscar
Hollywood's biggest night is coming up on February 22, as millions will tune into the Oscars. I won't be one of those viewers. As curious as I am to find out whether Milk or Frost/Nixon had better film editing, I cannot forgive the Academy fo... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Start spreading the Mewes, Bottoms Up is tops
Bottoms Up (2006) Big news everyone — movie star Jason Mewes is coming to Fanshawe this week. That's correct, the Jay half of the Jay and Silent Bob tandem immortalized in such films as Clerks and Dogma will be in Forwell Hall this Tuesd... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Baby needs to be changed
Million Dollar Baby (2004) It's my favourite season of the year — award season! The Academy Award nominees were announced this week, although that occurred after this article was written. Unless I have totally misread the situation, we s... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Child abduction and mass destruction highlight latest Star Wars production
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) A long time ago (last August), in a galaxy that couldn't be closer, a film was released that far too few went to see. It was especially disappointing considering this film is the continuation of the most financ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Top 10 Holiday Movies
Christmas is a time for giving, but more importantly, it is a time for receiving gifts. With that being said, I truly believe the greatest gift of all is the gift of entertainment. So I have compiled this last of the 10 greatest Christmas films of... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: No flaws in this film about Claus
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) We're just a few short weeks away from Christmas, and I couldn't be more excited. I love all kinds of movies, but one of my favourite genres is the Christmas film. There have been some terrible ones... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Pooch film is doggone terrific
Karate Dog (2004) Move over Jackie Chan. Step aside Jet Li. Shave off that beard Chuck Norris. There is a new king of karate on the silver screen. He's less than four foot tall, full of personality, and is covered in hair. No, I'm not talk... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Zombie film offers blood, boobs and Bush (George W. Bush that is)
Zombie Strippers (2008) History was made this week when Barack Obama was elected President of the United States. Barack promises change — but what if there was no change? What if George W. Bush was allowed to serve a third, or even fourth-te... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: All you need is Love Guru
The Love Guru (2008) Just in time for Christmas, the biggest movie of the year has landed at your local retail outlet. That's correct - you can own your very own copy of the Mike Myers instant classic The Love Guru. Oh sure, a few films made ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: One Heaven of a good vampire flick
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) Halloween is just around the corner, which means it is time to watch only the spookiest of films. There have been many scary villains in the history of cinema — Freddy Krueger, the Wolf Man, Leatherface, ju... Read more

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Oasis continues to roll with Dig Out Your Soul
Oasis Dig Out Your Soul Before I write about the latest release from Oasis, let me get a few things out of the way. Noel and Liam Gallagher are opinionated, like to drink and are known to argue with one another. Anyone who writes an article abou... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Paradise full of monkeys, nudity
Paradise (1982) It's Sexual Awareness Week here at Fanshawe, which means that this publication will be chalk full of invaluable information about sexual harassment, contraceptives, and sexually transmitted diseases. So I could not think of a b... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hulkster continues to flex acting muscles
A career retrospective on the man, the mustache and the legend that is Hulk Hogan Let's face it, the world is falling apart. The economy is sinking at such a quick rate that The Great Depression will soon look only mildly sad. It's gotte... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The Gambler comes up aces
“You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done” The Gambl... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Connoisseur's ripe with excitement
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) Tomato lovers across North America were in despair this past summer when their beloved vegetable was taken away from them temporarily after a salmonella outbreak. “Tomatoes never hurt anyone” was a ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Paris in a romantic comedy? That's hot!
The Hottie and the Nottie (2008) Is there a more useful, talented and likeable celebrity walking the face of the Earth than Paris Hilton? I certainly cannot think of one. So when I heard that Ms. Hilton was following up her hugely successful debut... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Diaz and Kutcher hit the jackpot
What Happens in Vegas (2008) This week's Cinema Connoisseur column is going to be a little different. I'll be reviewing a film, which not only has been released in the past decade, but is currently in theatres! This is real cutting edge st... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hollywood delivers two bundles of joy
We're coming up to the end of another school year, and you know what that means - many of those ladies who got drunk and engaged in unprotected intercourse at the beginning of the school year are now into their pregnancy's third trimester. Co... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Five sports flicks that hit plenty of touch goals
If you happen to be a hardcore sports fan, this is truly the best time of the year. Major League Baseball just opened up the regular season, a new college basketball champion is about to be crowned, plus the NHL and NBA are about to begin their lengt... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Donkey Kong doc is a barrel of fun
King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007) The recent Academy Awards ceremony saw a battle for the coveted Best Documentary statue between films dealing with the following subject matter: - Interrogation and torture of suspected terrorists - The... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: An ode to Road House
Recently the entertainment world was rocked by two tragic bits of news. The first one was the death of Canadian jazz and blues-rock musician Jeff Healey. The second was the revelation that actor Patrick Swayze had been diagnosed with pancreatic cance... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Luck of the Irish strikes again in Leprechaun 2
Leprechaun 2 (1994) In honour of St. Patrick's Day, this week's review will focus on the story of a devious and peculiar little man who uses deception and sorcery to trick a beautiful woman into being his bride. No, this week's film i... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Spy Kids 3-D is A-1
Spykids 3:D (2003) Director Robert Rodriguez has been one of the most acclaimed directors over the better part of the last two decades. Audiences and critics alike have praised his visceral approach to filmmaking, showcased in films such as Sin Ci... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: No Country, no thrills at this year's Oscars
No Country For Old Men came out on top of this year's 80th Academy Awards ceremony, which honoured the critic's top picks amongst films that no one went to see. The Oscars typically rank amongst the most watched broadcasts on television &mda... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: 1960s beach flick is all wet
Dear Mr. Musicworld, It was with great sorrow that I learned of the financial troubles you were having, which led to the closing of your many locations. I was a frequent customer of yours, spending upwards of $125 in your stores over the past decade... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hulk takes viewers on one wild ride
Three Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998) Every so often in Hollywood, two legends are brought together, and magic is created. I'm sure you all remember when Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro shared the screen for the first time ever in Heat. ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Black Sheep rises above the heap
Terror has a new face. And that face is attached to the three-foot tall, wooly frame of an animal known quite simply as the sheep. New Zealand has 45 million of these animals. In fact sheep outnumber people 11-to-one in that country. No problem, rig... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: These idols deserve golden tickets
From Justin to Kelly (2003) It's that time of the year again — the start of another season of the most popular show on television, “American Idol.” I don't know about you, but I have Idol Fever. Yep, I have all of the sy... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Killer snowman flick Jack Frost has bite
Jack Frost (1996) Winter is upon us. Sure, it has been unseasonably warm this year, but sooner or later, we are bound to be up to our knees in snow. Is there anything worse than shoveling snow, or trying to walk through it? Yes, there is somethin... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Drum roll please... The 17th Annual Connies
Breaking news - Our awards shows are falling at an alarming rate! Apparently some no good lazy writers are upset because people are watching television shows for free on their computing machines. These greedy writers apparently have been threatening... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Movie starring KISS, and make-up, is a can't miss
KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park (1978) There are a lot of people fretting these days about global warming, terrorists and deadly viruses that have the ability to wipe out millions of lives. I myself am not particularly worried. Why am I not wor... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: He-Man and She-Ra show that It's a Master-ful Life
As I think back to my days as a young cinema connoisseur at Christmas time, I recall that some of my favourite presents, aside from the lovely gifts of socks and underwear, were the Masters of the Universe series of toys. Whether it was He-Man, Sk... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Funky Monkey a champ among chimps
Funky Monkey (2004) Over the past several decades that I have spent reviewing films for this publication, I have seen thousands of gems that I have declared “the greatest film of all-time.” Some have accused me of hyperbole. Some have ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Like Mike is, like, fantastic
Like Mike (2002) Once every few decades, a standout orphan turned basketball star film is released. Like Mike, starring Lil Bow Wow, is this generation's crowning achievement in the genre. Never has a film tackled such complex issues as adopti... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Fantasies fulfilled in made for TV film, turned series
Return to Fantasy Island (1978) “The plane, the plane.” Need I say more? I guess only if you wanted to know what the hell I am talking about. Those four words (technically two words, each said twice) kicked-off every episode of the c... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Wham, bam, thank you Kazaam!
Kazaam (1996) It is that time of the year when the stars of the NBA hit the hard court and battle it out to determine who gets the opportunity to win the coveted Larry O'Brien trophy. One star will shine brighter than all the rest in this Con... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Elvira titillates and terrifies
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988) October 31 is fast approaching, and that means it is time for the scariest, spookiest and kookiest day of the year… Halloween. This time of year always gets me thinking about all of the great horror personaliti... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: LiLo: Gifted starlet or filthy harlot?
From The Parent Trap to I Know Who Killed Me, Lohan's career has been as versatile as her urine samples Each week this column is usually dedicated to one of the finest films that Hollywood has to offer. This week's format is going to be di... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Flintstones will (Bed)rock your socks off
The Flintstones (1994) This past summer, the long running primetime animated series “The Simpsons” made the leap to the big screen with a great amount of fanfare. This certainly isn't the first time this happened. Long before Homer... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Connoisseur expresses disdain for Kane
Citizen Kane (1941) Perhaps no film in history has been as adored by the critics as Citizen Kane. It has been hailed by both the American and British Film Institutes as the number one film of all-time. But that can't be true, you may say. Cit... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Beerfest brews up big laughs
Beerfest (2006) The Broken Lizard gang that brought you the cult hit Super Troopers returned to the big screen in 2006 to tackle a subject that is very near and dear to my heart, and a great deal of yours as well — beer. Making a film about... Read more

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Catch them now, before they're cancelled
We're officially in the Fall season, and you know what that means. No, not the start of another school year, it's something far more important than that. It's time for the start of the new television season. There are plenty of popular s... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Fight flicks feature Stone Cold, foxes
After a one-week absence, the Cinema Connoisseur is back. The authorities seized my typewriter last week, but rest assured, they didn't find any evidence in it to pin the rap on me. So to make up for last week, I will be reviewing two, count &ls... Read more

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Pumpkins smashed the hell out of Virgin Fest with classics
Toronto Island was invaded by thousands on September 8 and 9, as for the second year in a row it played host to the Virgin Festival. No, this wasn't a festival where a group of yet to be deflowered women were tossed into a volcano to appease the... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: 80s flick boasts burgers, bosoms and Butkus
Hamburger: The Motion Picture (1986) It's a couple of weeks into the school year now, and I'm sure most of you have come to the realization that things just aren't working out. You have made a horrible mistake. Fear not, all you have t... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: It's Pat is a tender gender bender
It's Pat (1994) Over the past decade, there have been several high profile films that have tackled the issue of people dealing with gender issues. In 1999, Hilary Swank starred in the film Boys Don't Cry, which told the tale of a young la... Read more

Gwen provides Sweet Escape for London fans
Gwen Stefani entertained a crowd of over 9,000 fans with a high-energy show at the JLC. Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: New Moore film shows differences between Canada, U.S.
Canadian Bacon (1995) London, Ontario recently played host to the North American premiere of Michael Moore's documentary Sicko, a film that puts the healthcare industry under the microscope. London was chosen as the host because several key sc... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Forget sequels, these films are more than equal
We all know about the blockbusters that are coming out in the summer of 2007, but here are a few movies that likely will not have $150 million marketing campaigns behind them, but are every bit as good, if not better than the Shrek The Thirds of the world. Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Hazzard prequel includes keywords ‘buxom,' ‘moonshine'
The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning (2007) One of my favourite television programs growing up was “The Dukes of Hazzard,” so I was thrilled in 2005 when a major motion picture based on the series was released, starring Jessica Simpson,... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Facial hair highlighted in classic kung fu flick
Shaolin vs Ninja (1983) This week I'm kicking it old school. The emphasis on kicking, because there is a lot of that in this week's feature, Shaolin vs. Ninja. Shaolin vs Ninja tells the tale of a group of skilled Shaolin monks living in ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: No redemption for Shaw-stank
The Shawshank Redemption (1994) I recently visited the popular website The Internet Movie Database (imdb.com), and checked out their list of the top 250 movies of all time. This is a list that is compiled based on voting from regular folks like yo... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Mike Myers makes a fine feline
Cat in the Hat (2003) You can find just about anything on the World Wide Web. Need to find out how to submit a letter to the Editor of this publication? Then just head over to www.fsu.on.c... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Relationship strain on set of Rollerball due to intense roles
Rollerball (2002) Sports and the cinema have long enjoyed a successful marriage. There are classics from the baseball diamond, such as Bull Durham and Field of Dreams. There have been unforgettable boxing pictures - Raging Bull and Rocky come to m... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: With some luck from the Irish, this Leprechaun strikes gold
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997) Top o' the morning to ya. St. Patrick's Day is fast approaching, so this week I have decided to showcase one of the Emerald Isle's most acclaimed films. This week I take a look at Leprechaun 4: In Space. ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Film shows Britney with hair, underwear
Crossroads (2002) She may be a head shaving, crotch flashing, umbrella wielding, hard drinking, chain smoking, baby endangering train wreck these days, but Britney Spears wasn't always like that. As little as five years ago, Britney was on top... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Predictions for this year's most pretentious awards
It's the most exciting time of the year for movie lovers — it's Oscar time! The 79th Annual Academy Awards will be handed out on Sunday, February 25, and this year's ceremony has some big questions to answer — will Martin Scor... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Take a chance on this Vanilla romance
Cool as Ice (1991) All right stop, collaborate and read this Connoisseur's back with a flick you can't dismiss Cool as Ice is the name of this hit You want romance, yo, it's got it To the extreme, this news will make you tinkle... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Thunder offers beaches, babes, biceps and boats
Thunder in Paradise (1993) It's almost spring break time — are you ready to par-tay?!?! Are you ready to travel to some far off hot spot? Are you ready to have a fling with the bartender at the resort you are staying at? Are you ready fo... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Super Mario Bros. sparks poet in Connoisseur
Super Mario Bros (1993) Madonna. Cher. Sting. Arsenio. There are certain individuals who are so universally recognized that they only need one name. One of those individuals, Mario, almost single-handedly revitalized the video game industry. Supe... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Double your dose of Duff, consumerism, in Material Girls
Material Girls (2006) Can you simply not get enough Duff? Well, you are in for quite a treat then. This week's selection features not only one Duff. Not only two Duffs…oh no wait, it does only feature two Duffs. The dynamic sisterly duo of Hil... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: The Naked Mile brings complexity, nudity, straight to DVD
American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006) It's hard to believe it's been over seven years since we were first witness to the offbeat shenanigans of a group of teenagers whose throbbing libidos had us all in stitches in American Pie. Th... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Leonard takes Cosby to an all new L-E-V-E-L
Leonard Part 6 (1987) It's the beginning of a New Year. Here are a few dates that you will want to mark down: - Sunday, April 8th is Easter - Saturday, May 5th is the birthday of the Cinema Connoisseur (I'm registered at the Dollarama) ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Santa's Slay spreads yuletide fear
Santa's Slay (2005) Move over Miracle on 34th Street. Step aside It's a Wonderful Life. See you later Ernest Saves Christmas. There's a new film that can claim the title of the greatest Christmas movie of all time, and that movie is Sa... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Christmas comes early for Star Wars, Bea Arthur fans
Star Wars: The Holiday Special (1978) So you think you know the whole Star Wars saga? Sure, maybe you've seen all six Star Wars films. Maybe you've watched the “Clone Wars” cartoons. Maybe you've read all of the countless S... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Anime blends dinosaurs, tennis, to create perfect harmony
Prince of Tennis: Futari No Samurai (2005) Being a graduate of the Dom DeLuise School of Film Studies and Air Conditioning Repair, I consider myself to be somewhat of a cinema buff, or even connoisseur. I've explored many different genres over ... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: He-Man master of his domain, Universe
Masters of the Universe (1987) The Yankees versus the Red Sox. The Canadiens versus the Maple Leafs. The United States versus Iraq. Nicole Richie versus Steven Seagal. These are all great rivalries, but there is one feud with more drama, more emot... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Sly wrestles his way to the top
Over the Top (1987) “Perhaps no film better illustrates the complex relationship that exists between a father and his son.” “If there is a finer film about arm wrestling, I surely have never seen it.” I know what you'r... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: A spook-tacularly too-rrific sequel
More frightening than Frankenstein. More bloodthirsty than Count Dracula. Less calories than Count Chocula. The werewolf has been a staple of the horror genre for decades. In 1985 a new kind of werewolf was introduced to the masses - a young, hip we... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Dorm Daze 2 promotes awareness, tits
Welcome to this special sex-ified edition of Cinema Connoisseur. It's sexual awareness week, so I thought it would be appropriate to review a film that addresses many of the sex related issues that today's students have to deal with in a fran... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Doggie-style film barks up right tree
Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998) Dogs are stupid. I've never really liked them, and I probably never will. Before you start sending hate mail to feedback@cinemaconn.com, let me say that the above st... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Estevez shines, as usual, in the original Mighty Ducks
The Mighty Ducks (1992) It's October, which means it is time for the start of another hockey season. Starting this week, twenty-nine Stanley Cup contenders and the Toronto Maple Leafs will hit the ice. One of the top contenders this year is th... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Spice Girls are what you want, what you really-really want
Spice World: The Movie (1998) When I heard that Meat Loaf, Norm from Cheers (George Wendt) and James Bond (Roger Moore) were going to be in a movie together, I was ecstatic. After I found out that they were going to be joined by five very special cas... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Chimp makes movie magic in Spymate
When I heard about the release of the movie Spymate, about a chimpanzee that is also a secret agent, my first thought was “alright, somebody has been reading my diary”. My second thought was “I could sure use some chicken fingers ri... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: No Holds Barred holds nothing back
No Holds Barred (1989) With 24” pythons, a truckload of charisma and a moustache that put those of Tom Selleck and Saddam Hussein to shame, Hulk Hogan was on top of the world in 1989. He was the World Wrestling Federation champion, and his imag... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Leprechauns steal more than lucky charms
As someone who comes from a predominantly Irish family, I have become quite sick of Hollywood's typical depiction of my people — the harmless, fun loving drunk with a heart of gold. Thankfully, in 1993, director Mark Davis showed us there i... Read more

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Cinema Connoisseur: Crazy for Swayze's Roadhouse
In Dirty Dancing, Sir Patrick Swayze danced his way into our hearts. In this week's film selection, Road House, Swayze rips our throats out, sticks his hand through our oral cavity, and grabs hold of our hearts once again.

... Read more

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ECW ready to return to line McMahon's pockets green
The wrestling world is buzzing (no, The Killer Bees have not made a comeback). What is making a comeback however is ECW, the renegade promotion that ran from the mid-90s until early 2001. After a successful PPV last year, and making millions off of s... Read more

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