Deciphering which love archetypes may be in your life

Header image for Interrobang article CREDIT: ANGELA MCINNES
Have you found yourself in any of these archetypes?

You may have already met them and had no idea.

In the realm of the existential, many believe that each of us have particular, optimal pairings on the planet, with individuals whom are ideally suited to us. The idealistic concept has us believe that some people, more than others, are better suited to our general temperament, provocations and behaviours. Following in this etheric line of thinking, I hope to address these three familiar categories of people to help identify what you may want to look out for, if looking, and to highlight the distinction between the three.

And maybe, when all is said and done, you’ll realize that what you were looking for was already in your life.

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Typically it is believed that soulmates are people with whom we were meant to be with.

These relationships are almost always looked at as romantic, but in fact can be deeply affectionate and solid friendships, parents, siblings and extended family as well. A major problem with the misconception that soulmate relationships are meant to last forever is that in many circles it is believed that each person has more than one soulmate.

Soulmates affect change in our lives and are an integral component to our individual evolution. These connections transcend connections that you share with other people in your life. An inert comprehension of each other’s motivations, traumas and divine purpose can be experienced as a kind of intuitive tether to one another.

Those closely connected relationships, the ones where you feel vulnerable and safe in the same breath, are indicators of potential soulmate connections. Take a look in your Rolodex of nostalgia and reminisce about some of your past relationships and assess whether or not they could have been soulmate pairings.

Twin Flames

Believed to be two halves of the same soul, made into two separate souls.

Unlike soulmates, there can only ever be one twin flame. When you hear the phrase, “you complete me,” that is much like what a twin flame reflects in us. They are that missing piece to ourselves, and in fact, can appear to be quite different to us. Often symbolized as a personification of yin and yang, light and dark, the idea here is that our twin flame will awaken in us dormant areas in our life, or areas in which attention needs to be paid.

These flames are believed only to connect once both parties are in their ‘final life,’ so the likelihood of meeting this person may be unlikely. But once these parties do meet, as long as they’ve learned the lessons necessary throughout their previous lifetimes, the effect of the union can have ramifications on a global scale. Twin flames incite in us a need to reflect upon some of the darker recesses of our soul, thinking and behaviours.

For anyone who has ever delved into this activity, you know that the journey is hard, but once you’ve reached the end of it the effect can be cathartic. The revelations that are discovered can propel one to make needed amendments to how they approach life and inadvertently, positively effect change in the world, whether on a big or small scale.

True Love

Choice. That is what differentiates this categorization with that of the other two.

True love is chosen as a direct result of our life experiences, soulmate interactions and influence, and preferences that an individual has. True love can be identified when an individual is wholly accepted as they are, in their rawest form. Feeling comfortable in your own skin, a sensation of equilibrium and ease, and a vulnerability that allows for full expression, are indicators that you may be with or near such a person.

True love is not the portrait that we sketch in our minds about the perfect qualities and attributes we wish for in a partner. A true love candidate, in my opinion, is anyone who ushers in positivity, encouragement, support, inspiration, admiration and strength into your life. That person you can turn to, whom can turn to you, in a union of symbiosis. Equal parts working together, not separately.

A true love candidate is the person you look forward to seeing at the end of a long day, for all the right reasons. The person you enjoy eating dinner with, lounging around on a Sunday afternoon watching the television watch you, laughing and speaking unintelligently about anything.

True love is the person you don’t have to impress, but want to. Like all things, true love takes work too, it just feels easier and rosier, even amongst the complexities of relationships.