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Bush considers Christmas trees for Baghdad

James Tallywacker | Distorter | Distorter | December 4th, 2006

In an effort to help bring a sense of calm to the War in Iraq word has leaked out from the White House that George W. Bush is considering having U.S. Troops erect a number of Christmas trees in Baghdad as soon as next week.

“I think the Iraqi people would welcome this gesture from the American people as a sign that we want them to enjoy the approaching Christmas season,” said Bush via a prepared statement, read by a White House aid during a morning press conference.

Other ideas being suggested include having the U.S. military deliver tobagons to the children of Iraq, because according to Bush “everyone likes to sled”. White House staff have also suggested sending bottles of America's finest wine for every household, but can't decide if it should be an Ernest and Julio Gallo, white, red or zinfandel wine.

“Wine is the perfect accompaniment to a traditional Christmas dinner and we think the people of Iraq would appreciate this small gesture during this holiday season. We know they'd like us to leave their country, but maybe these gifts will allow us to stay a little longer
continued on page A7

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
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