A security officer at a College in Ontario is in trouble for mixing business with pleasure. Twenty-six-year-old Al Beback, who works at an unspecified College, has been charged with requesting sex from a 19-year-old girl he caught stealing a library book. The incident occurred March 23rd.

Beback allegedly told the girl, “If you have sex with me right now, your record will be clean.” The girl then went into Beback's office and performed a sex act on him. Police say they pursued charges because Beback told them different versions of what happened and witnesses provided enough evidence to build a case.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.