The FSU's annual Halloween pub got a surprise boost when celebrity Paris Hilton decided to crash the fun in her own skimpy outfit.

While the women in attendance reared their jealous fangs as their boyfriends took turns trying to befriend the starlet, the ladies got the last laugh in the end when Hilton went down in a heap outside of Forwell Hall.

Hilton was leaving Forwell with her latest conquest when she went down.

“This is not what I had in mind,” said Geoff Matherson. “I knew Paris was going to go down, but not this way, and not at that time.”

Matherson helped Hilton up and tended to her cuts before taking her home, but the evening came to an abrupt end when Hilton decided she couldn't perform due to her cut knee, and refused alternative ideas to give Materson fellatio.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.