No Country For Old Men came out on top of this year's 80th Academy Awards ceremony, which honoured the critic's top picks amongst films that no one went to see.

The Oscars typically rank amongst the most watched broadcasts on television — it is the Super Bowl of the film world. However, this year's broadcast was the equivalent of a game between the Detroit Lions and a gang of flea-ridden hobos.

None of 2007's top ten highest grossing films in North America managed to garner a single nomination in one of the ceremony's prestige awards (Best Picture, Actress/Actor, Supporting Actress/Actor, Director, Adapted/Original Screenplay). That's right, Alvin and the Chipmunks was shut out.

In fact the only box office hits to nab nominations in major categories were Ratatouille (which won for Best Animated Film) and Juno, which came up short in the Best Picture, Director and Actress categories.

Another financially successful film The Bourne Ultimatum surprised some by walking away with three wins, in the Best Editing, Best Sound Mixing and Best Sound Editing. What was even more surprising was that these awards were presented on television!

Each year there is a non-televised ceremony where some of the less glamorous awards are handed out — I can't imagine how boring that night must be, considering awards like best Sound Mixing and Documentary Short Subject make the cut.

The biggest winner of the night was No Country For Old Men, the bloody tale of a drug deal gone awry. The film captured four of the eight Oscar statues it was in the running for, including the top prize of Best Picture.

Joel and Ethan Coen won Oscars for their direction of No Country For Old Men. Some critics (okay, just me) expressed outrage over this development, since there are two of them. Clearly they had an unfair advantage over the likes Juno director Jason Reitman, who had to it all by himself.

Using this same logic, the Olsen twins could share a nomination for Best Actress. Yet where were the Olsens during the 2005 ceremony? Not up on stage celebrating a win for their performance in New York Minute, that's for sure! Due to a technicality, they instead were on their sofa, watching the show on television, eating popcorn (well, Mary-Kate likely wasn't eating popcorn, or anything for that matter).

Picking up the Best Actor award was Daniel-Day Lewis, for his role as a ruthless oil baron in There Will Be Blood. Lewis rarely appears in films, and tends to star in lower budget fare. Hopefully this Oscar win will give the young fellow a higher profile so that he can really cash in. Cinematic versions of “The A-Team” and “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” are in the works, and it would be great to see Lewis at least given an audition for one of these films.

Marion Cotillard won a Best Actress award for her role in La Vie En Rose as troubled French singer Edith Piaf. I know what you are thinking — who, what and who again? I can't help you with any of those questions. I typed La Vie En Rose into Google, and the first few links that came up were for stores selling lingerie and sleepwear. I'm not convinced that this film even exists. It was more than likely an elaborate prank cooked up by host Jon Stewart.

While I was very disappointed with this year's show, I hold out hope that next year's ceremony will honour movies that the viewers at home did see. Using that criteria, if the nominations were to be announced today, the Best Picture race would consist of Cloverfield, 27 Dresses, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour, Jumper and Fool's Gold. The world may have been deprived of a Billy Ray Cyrus Oscar acceptance speech, but I pray that the same won't be true for his daughter.