We're coming up to the end of another school year, and you know what that means - many of those ladies who got drunk and engaged in unprotected intercourse at the beginning of the school year are now into their pregnancy's third trimester. Congratulations, and in honour of this, I'll be reviewing two films about babies.

Junior (1994)
Long before Arnold Schwarzenegger reigned as Governor of California, he was the biggest action star in the world. But Arnold was not content to be a one trick pony. So he tried his hand at several comedies, including Kindergarten Cop and Twins, the latter of which co-starred Danny DeVito.

Twins was such a big hit that Arnold and DeVito teamed up years later in Junior, the tale of two scientists working on a fertility drug called Expectane. Unfortunately, the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) won't authorize Expectane to be tested on a woman, and the two men see their funding withdrawn.

So the two men decide that they only have one option — to test the drug on Schwarzenegger's character. A fertilized egg is implanted in his abdomen, and the laughs — and a few tears follow.

I knew this was going to be a great film five minutes in after a scene in which Arnold is seen rubbing the belly of a pregnant chimp. That alone guaranteed it at least four-and-a half stars. The cast could have sat around reading the newspaper for the remainder of the film, and it still would have been great. Luckily they don't resort to this.

Instead, what we get is Schwarzenegger's character going from a cold, stoic individual, to a glowing, emotional mom/dad to be. While he was only supposed to carry the fetus for one trimester, he decides to go through with the pregnancy.

He goes on to suffer many of the same symptoms expectant moms do. While Schwarzenegger is probably best known for uttering lines like “I'll be back” and “Hasta la vista, baby,” I'll always think of him in Junior saying to DeVito, “My nipples are very sensitive.”

Not only are his nipples sensitive, but so is his portrayal. Whether he is posing in drag as a member of the East German Olympic team, or succumbing to those pregnancy induced food cravings, this is the greatest role of Arnold's career. When (not if) he finally becomes President of the United States (with DeVito as VP), and brings peace to the Middle East, Junior will still rank as his proudest achievement.

Baby Geniuses (1999)
Babies talking! Babies using computers! A major role for Dom Deluise! This movie is practically a license to print money.

An ensemble cast consisting of Dom Deluise (Cannonball Run), Kathleen Turner (Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown from Back to the Future) and Kim Cattrall (Samantha of “Sex in the City” fame) star in this tale of an evil scientist who is holding super intelligent babies captive.

Turner plays Dr. Kinder, the dastardly head of BabyCo. With the help of Dr. Heep (Lloyd), Kinder oversees the largest manufacturer of baby products in the world, as well as a baby theme park. This is all an elaborate cover-up however.

In a secret underground lair, Kinder and Heep study the super intelligent language that their group of baby geniuses communicates in. To further their studies, Kinder separates a pair of twins — giving Whit to her niece (Cattrall), and keeping Sylvester.

This proves to be an unwise move. Well, to be technical about it, keeping babies captive in an underground lair is in itself an unwise move. In particular Kinder and ­company run into problems with the precocious Sylvester, who is not only a genius, but knows karate. He's like a tiny, diaper wearing combination of Albert Einstein and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Sylvester eventually escapes, and crosses paths with the twin brother he never knew existed. A mix-up occurs, leading to his brother heading to BabyCo, and Dom Deluise having a wrench dropped on his groin by a baby.

Sylvester must then lead an army of babies (an infantry some might call it) on a mission to save Whit and the other babies from the clutches of BabyCo. This leads to the finest training montage ever captured on film. Eat your heart out Rocky.

Do the youngsters triumph over the forces of evil? Check the film out for yourself for the answer to that one. And while you're at it, pickup the sequel SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2, starring Jon Voight and Scott Baio.