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Renewing relationships: How to keep the spark alive

Ajiitha Anand | Interrobang | Culture | September 12th, 2016




You’re sitting at home trying to put pieces of their face together but haven’t seen them enough to know what the whole thing is like altogether. The only way to remember is to stalk the crap out of every single social network they have to construct a recognizable personality and face. Finally, when you’ve set up a time to see them in person, you have all this excitement built up inside of you. Everything is new and as a human being, you know how much you love new things. It’s untouched and perfect because you don’t know it well enough to find any flaws. It’s like those new journals you buy; it’s all pretty and delicate so you make sure your first entry is typewriter material but then your penmanship gets worse, and by the fourth entry you stop using it because now it’s ugly or you continue using it but forget to keep it as delicate and as pretty as it was when you first bought it. You refuse to do anything embarrassing like let out a fart because who knows how they’ll react to the sound or the smell, I mean first impressions are everything despite how natural farts are. You don’t want them to think you’re a stinky, old, unhygienic bag of trash. It’s unsafe for you to leave the house without shaving some part of your body; I mean it’s the first date, who knows what might happen, what are you going to do if they touches your shin and realize you’re a porcupine. The honeymoon doesn’t have to be the most exciting part of a relationship. Humans are naturally attracted to change and something new. Once we’ve finally obtained what we were looking for, it’s easy to not have the same amount of interest as before. The chase is always more fun because everything is still untouched and new. Plus they don’t know you and it’s fun having that opportunity to trick them into thinking you’re absolutely perfect while knowing you’re absolutely not. When you’re at the stage when you no longer need to worry about being the best, you realize the grass is always greener on the other side. However, being the best doesn’t matter when you’re happy with what you already have. A lot of the things that used to matter don’t anymore, like hairy eyebrows and farts.

Sex is fun, but you grow to understand that life doesn’t leave you enough time for intercourse three times a day. Plus you’re old, tired and they can’t always get it up.

It’s okay not to have sex as much as you used to, it happens in a longterm relationship. It does not mean your partner loves you any less, it’s natural and you will probably end up feeling the same way too. The key to keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship is to keep an open mind and always be open to trying new things, both sexual and nonsexual. Being in a long-term relationship is already a big responsibility but keeping it interesting is another story. According to Dr. Debby Herbenick, an American research scientist and author of “Because It Feels Good”, having morning sex at least once a week is scientifically proven to keep excitement in a relationship as well as being a great start to your day. Dedicating a day to make your partner’s fantasies become reality can spice up a Friday night. Having sex outside of the bedroom is also a risqué way to create excitement in your sex life. Having sex with your partner is a stress reliever and a great way to bond and feel reunited.

Have special weekly nights that are dedicated to solely you and your partner, like date night followed by fantasy sex. Create fun situations. Go back to the drawing board and start again. No, I don’t mean find a new partner, but recreate it instead. You can change up the situation and make it more interesting. Go to a bar, or a park, a library, anywhere. Enter the chosen location on your own and pretend as if you are meeting for the first time. This will be an interesting game to play because it’s “new” and the biggest key to keeping things interesting is by doing new things and adapting to positive changes. Remind yourselves what you like about each other, physically and mentally.

Refresh and renew. At the end of the day, it’s all about the effort. It’s easy to keep things new and interesting as long as you prioritize your relationship and show each other that it’s still relevant and exciting. This journal has been used and the pages aren’t as pretty as they used to be, it contains a lot of stains, a couple of ripped pages but at least it developed its own character. Both of your objectives are to give each other the most honest version of you there is and still love every bit of it.

But really, it’s not an objective, it kind of just happens when you love someone.
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