Gather ‘round fashion lovers and trend-haters alike, because it’s about to get controversial. We’re talking about the return of skinny jeans, big sunglasses, and yes, low-rise everything. Love it? Hate it? Doesn’t matter. It’s happening.

Skinny jeans: The resurrection

After years of Gen Z propaganda telling people that skinny jeans were a crime against humanity, they need to make a dramatic comeback (like an ex who “just wants to talk”). They are perfect with a pair of knee-high boots, and not to mention the way they make your butt.

Big sunglasses: The bigger the better

Forget the tiny, impractical lenses. I know your eyes are not protected from those UV rays with the way they are sitting on your nose. Not to mention, how am I supposed to people-watch when my eyes aren’t even covered? Bring back the big, mysterious sunglasses that are perfect for avoiding eye contact with the people you want to pretend don’t exist.

Long nails: The claws are out

Short, natural nails? No. It’s time to embrace the talons again. And don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about the Cardi B nails. I’m talking about those nails that are perfect for dramatically texting, tapping on hard surfaces for effect, and making your enemies nervous. Not to mention, they make for the perfect back scratcher.

Messy buns: The OG “Clean Girl” hair

We did the slick back thing. I hate to break it to you though, not everyone can pull it off. Now, can we please return to the chaos of the messy bun? The perfect look for when you want to pretend you “just threw it up like this” when in reality you spent 25 minutes strategically pulling out pieces to frame your face.

“Wail Tails” are back, baby

What are wail tails? Well, I’ll tell you…visibly lacy underwear above low-rise jeans. Yes, it can be trashy, but with a little hint of sexy. Let her shine; you bought a $30 pair of undies for a reason.

Voluminous 80s hair: The taller the hair, the closer to god

Cher, Tina Turner, Whitney Houston and hello, Madonna! It’s hot. Get your teasing brushes and hairspray stocked and let’s make it happen ladies.

Side parts: Cry about it

We’ve overdone the middle part. It’s not the only way! Side parts need to be brought back, and with them, the dramatic hair flips we dearly need.

Doc Martens: A timeless classic

If you retired your Docs, first of all, how dare you? Second, it’s time to dust them off. There are so many varieties; heeled docs, auburn, matte leather docs, black, shiny leather docs, and the list goes on. They are badass and, even better, comfortable. I can’t believe we stopped wearing them.

Band tees: Make it off-the-shoulder

It’s time to dig out your vintage Guns N’ Roses tee and a pair of scissors. Bonus points if you can’t name three songs from the band (I say this with a dramatic eye roll of course).

Flip-flops, toe rings and anklets: The dogs are out

No more hiding them: flip-flops are so back! Get a pedicure and let those grippers breathe. And if you’re still feeling embarrassed about it, throw a ring on it. I’m here for all the jewellery, and yes, that includes your feet. It’s time to end the weirdness of showing our feet. (Bonus points if your anklet has a charm that jingles when you walk).

Belts: Because pants need personality

Remember when belts weren’t just a practical item, but a full-blown fashion statement? Braided belts, giant belts, waist-cinching masterpieces – the era of accessorized midsections is upon us, so belt up.

Long tops: I’m tired of cropping everything

Close your eyes and imagine this: Low rise jeans and a long top that shows just enough midriff for the imagination. Did I convince you?

Capri pants: Seriously

I missed the capri pants trend and am gravely upset about it. To make it crazier, let’s try cargo capris. I have a vivid dream about rocking a pair of army green capris and a white top – don’t ask me why, but I need to make it a reality. Please. For me?

Smoky eyes: It’s giving 2010s Tumblr girl

I love a good natural, barely-there makeup look, but man, can it get boring. I’m ready to have fun with my makeup again. Starting with a classic smoky eye. It will never get old.

Wedge sandals: For when you want to be fancy-casual

Nothing screams “summertime mimosas and brunch” like a wedge sandal. You can dress them up, you can dress them down. Take a page out of Sophia Vergara’s book; she’s been rocking them since they hit the shelves in the early 2000s. Your mom probably still wears them, and honestly? She’s onto something.

Bangle bracelets: The soundtrack to your summer

The clinking, the clanking, the constant noise…your wrists will never feel more alive. Stack those wrists and bring it on.

Big hoops: The bigger, the badder

Let’s reclaim “the bigger the hoop, the bigger the [blank]” energy. These earrings are here to make a statement, and that statement is, we didn’t come to play.

Big bags: We’re carrying our whole lives again

Micro purses have their moments, but I need space. Where am I supposed to put my lip gloss, snacks, and a small child if necessary? Tote bags? Huge. Shoulder bags? Bigger. What can I say? I’m an over-packer.

Love it or hate it, I’m rocking all these trends this spring/summer. So, dust off your skinny jeans, perfect that hair, and prepare for the return of the visible thongs and capri pants with me (we’re so not sorry). Fashion is a lawless place. Buckle up!