CREDIT: FSU PUBLICATIONS AND COMMUNICATIONS DEPARTMENT

Debt often gets an unfair rap, like that noisy misunderstood kid at the back at the bus. Here’s a thought: what if instead of stress, you saw excitement? What if anxiety related to unpaid bills was actually an emotion synonymous with the anticipation you feel when planning a holiday?

But guess what? Holidays end. Debt won’t.

Debt is the one thing you can depend on. So why not make friends with it? Life without debt is like riding a rollercoaster that goes in a straight and dull line. Would you stand in line for hours for that experience? Would you stand in line for that life? It’s a scary thought. So here’s how to set you on a path paved with unrelenting adventure and unpredictable financial security. These are five easy steps for getting into debt.


1. The beauty of the tap

No more punching in numbers and inserting cards, waiting for seconds of your life that you’ll never get back. No time to overthink those mindless purchases. Tap, tap, tap your way to evenings out with your friends where, “I’m buying” is your motto. Popularity is a tap away.

2. Stop thinking so hard!

Stop it now. It’s boring. I was told by a wise man that how you do one thing, is how you do everything. Can you imagine constantly ruminating about the consequences of interest rates and loan repayments? You would never even dare to sign up for a credit card! Confucius, I’m sure, would agree that living in the moment and squeezing every last bit of excitement out of it is the path to righteousness. Meanwhile, overthinking is the enemy to living the zen life. Every party has a pooper, so don’t let it be you.

3. Don’t bother with a part-time job

Stop polluting your career with nasty part-time “jobs.” Humans are social creatures, so learn to be social. Go to parties, spend nights out on the town, take weekend trips with your peers. Whether you’re a part-time or full-time student, commit yourself to being a “full” student. You can’t do that by being part-student, part-employee.

4. Who has time for a budget? Buy that latte!

You have enough paperwork. Why draw up a budget and work tirelessly attempting to stick to it? All that does is add more work on your already overwhelming workload. It’s just irresponsible. Starbucks is a great place for you to help form useful habits and condition you to live life on the edge of glory. Start slow with just a simple coffee, say, two or three times a week, as a treat. Starbucks is pricey and that’s great news. Once you get a taste for it, that’s when the cravings will start. Every morning, as if driven by an invisible force you will find yourself standing in a Starbucks line. The cost won’t even enter your mind, as you tap with one hand and reach for the drink with the other.

5. Take out as many loans as possible

Students don’t have the time to juggle school, extracurricular activities, and shopping. That’s what loans are for. It’s almost rude to not accept theses financial cushions that were developed just for you. Then there is the “payday” loan, an insidious gem. It’s magic money! If you find yourself desperate, needing an outfit for the party on the weekend, but you’re a little short of cash, the payday loan gives you money, with consequences you can just worry about later. Besides, when you finish school, you’ll surely land a high-paying job immediately and you can pay it all back without even giving it a second thought.